Dave’s Story
As told by Dave’s son, Pete.
Our Dad, Dave Ashman, had a wonderful sense of humour. Very sharp and witty, he made everyone feel comfortable in his presence. He was a devoted husband and family man. His hobbies included fishing (although most of the time he paid to watch the scenery!), music, reading and football. Manchester United and Oxford United F.C. were his teams. A larger-than-life character who would find a laugh in anything.
Dad had an autoimmune disease called antisynthetase syndrome which was diagnosed in 2015. He battled this condition bravely but unfortunately picked up other illnesses, including cancer, in the following years. Eventually, in the end, it was heart failure.
Dad was taken to the A&E department at the John Radcliffe Hospital on Father’s Day 2024, where he stayed in intensive care for five days. The staff there were incredibly supportive and looked after Dad as best as they could.
When Sobell House was mentioned as an option for Dad by the staff in intensive care, we were unsure. We had been at the JR four days by that point and Dad’s condition was stable but deteriorating. We weren’t sure initially if we should move him. But it was 100% the right call.
By the Friday, the staff decided it would be best for Dad – and for us as a family – to move to Sobell House. The transition was seamless. An ambulance transferred Dad to Sobell House and the family followed behind within an hour.
Having spent the best part of a week in intensive care, arriving at Sobell House felt calming. As soon as we stepped through the door, the staff were understanding, respectful and kind.
Our family consisted of five adults at that point, and the staff managed to find us a room big enough for us all, as well as a spare room for three of us to sleep in at night. It was reassuring to know that we could all be together in a larger room with more space, rather than four adults sleeping on chairs or the floor in an intensive care room next to Dad.
When we arrived, a staff member showed us around and told us to take whatever we needed. We arrived with nothing and were given beds, towels, toothbrushes, and access to the communal fridge and lounge area. This was hugely important to us as a family.
Dad only stayed one night, but his final day at Sobell House was lovely. His room opened out onto the garden area, allowing more members of the family to come and see him, including his grandson and Toula the dog. The garden space was beautiful and made even better by the glorious weather that day.
Pictured: The Sobell House gardens
Pictured: Dave
Pictured: The Sobell House Family Room
There was plenty of space, plus lots of private seating areas for quieter conversations, which we needed that evening as a family. With Dad and some of the family being football fans, there was a large TV in the room where we were able to watch the Euros. We watched Georgia vs Czechia together, which was the last game Dad would hear.
Dad passed away on Saturday 22nd June, surrounded by his loved ones. Dad’s last day was the toughest and saddest day of our lives, but it was made more manageable by the kindness Sobell House showed to us all. They gave us the space, privacy and dignity that Dad deserved.
Sobell House, for us as a family, is truly a special place. We look back at the short time we were there and are extremely grateful for everything they did for us and Dad. Very quickly after Dad passed, we began to fundraise and in 2025 raised over £12,000 as a family. We will continue to fundraise for them for a long time to come because they deserve it. For anyone now or in the future who may come into contact with Sobell House, they are all incredible human beings. We can’t thank them enough for the kindness and empathy they showed us.
Thank you so much to Pete for kindly sharing his family’s experience.