Richard's Story
Shared by Richard’s wife, Shona.
My darling husband Richard and I grew up and went to school together. In early 1984 we realised we were more than just friends and our relationship blossomed quickly – we married in November the same year. We had a fantastic life together and our love for one another only got stronger as the years went by. We enjoyed many holidays abroad and in later years bought a touring caravan that we used two or three times a month. It was on the last day of one of our caravan visits, 28 August 2023, that Richard woke up feeling unwell with a sore throat. It took several trips to different doctors before he was sent for investigation and a diagnosis of lung cancer was confirmed in October.
My father had died from lung cancer the previous year, so this was a devastating blow for our family.
We remained hopeful that Richard would respond well to treatment given he was just 56 years old, but he became very unwell. After complaining for months about back pain he was sent for a scan and it was discovered that he had a tumour on his spine.
At this point, Richard went into Sobell House for pain management in June 2023 but we received so much more than that – I was invited to stay with Richard and we both moved in to the hospice! From day one we were treated with the utmost dignity and respect. We were always kept informed of every treatment Richard should expect to receive. His initial management plan was for one to two weeks but it became evident that he would be in for the long haul. The staff were exceptional, kind, considerate and incredibly friendly, nothing was ever too much trouble and after only a few days they ordered a “cuddle bed” for us to share – we were blown away with this fantastic gesture.
Pictured: Richard and Shona
Pictured: Richard and Shona
Pictured: Richard and his daughter Kylie
We had a beautiful big room which was perfect for us as we have four daughters and 14 grandchildren who could visit at any time and were made to feel very welcome. It became a home-from-home for us all.
Richard loved the gardens at Sobell House, he had always been a sun worshipper! I used to wheel his bed over to the open doors so the sun was on his face, he even got a little sun tan line across his belly one day, which cheered him up no end! The garden outside our room became our sanctuary – a place to gather our thoughts and meet other patients and their families going through the same or a similar situation.
The hospice had the most wonderful atmosphere, it wasn’t at all what we imagined or gloomy in any way. It felt like one big home filled with all your favourite family.
Richard had a massive setback and was whisked off to the John Radcliffe Hospital for a couple of nights, but Sobell House kept our room available and welcomed us back with lots of fuss and open arms. Sadly, Richard passed on 12 July 2023 at just 56 years old.
One of the carers, Anastasia, came when I buzzed and held me in her arms for as long as I needed, and then called our daughters so that they and the grandchildren could come and say goodbye to their wonderful father and Grampy.
Richard didn’t want to go into Sobell House initially through fear, but they were absolutely everything we never knew we needed and more. As a family we will never be able to thank the staff enough for all they did, for all of us.
Thank you so much to Shona for kindly sharing her family’s experience of Sobell House.